Hi. I just want to assure you that I am, in fact, still alive. I know it’s been a while since you’ve all heard from me, but, 2020 has been a real bitch. But I don’t have to tell you that. This year has been a bitch to everyone. I’ve been off the radar, and I’ve been social distancing in more ways than one.
I’m sure no one wants to hear about my trials and tribulations, as I’m sure many of you have had your own things going on. I’m writing this, not as an excuse for me slacking, but more of an explanation.
During the past few months, as we’ve been in this COVID-19 pandemic, the world has caused me to reflect upon who I am and what I want with life, myself, my home, and even this blog. I want to keep writing my fiction; I want to keep expanding my reach in the world of erotica. I want to write a novel. NOVELS. I want to be popular. Not famous. Just popular. I just want you to like me.
That perhaps is my greatest weakness as a person. I have a desperate need to be liked. I need to please. My need to please others far outweighs my desire for my own pleasure. And I think that is why I do what I do, as far as writing what I write. My desire to be liked has done damage to myself, both personally and professionally. It sends me into anxiety ridden states of depression. It leads me to alcohol to down my sorrows. My FAILURE to be liked has killed my confidence. It has crippled my creativity. And it has destroyed my will to even be productive.
It has been a long five months. I’ve gone through too many bottles of whiskey. I’ve spent too many days in my pajamas. Well, I’m still in my pajamas, but aren’t we all?
That said; I want to thank you for keeping me on your radar. I want to thank you for still following me. I want to thank you for reading this post, even though I didn’t say the word “cum” or “sex” or “orgasm” until this very sentence. And thank you for being you. I don’t know you; we’ve never met, but I LOVE you. You, person reading this, are keeping me going.